I specialize in relationship issues.
The tools we need to build healthy relationships are teachable—I want to shout this from the rooftops, because no one learns these skills in school. We internalize the myth that conflict is trouble—when in fact, it’s a predictable part of any relationship, and an opportunity for growth. Unfortunately, many relationships get stuck there, in the power struggle.
That’s where I come in, to coach you in building new ways of relating—whether you’re coming in as a couple or as a single individual looking to bring healthier patterns into your dating life. I teach clients to talk without criticism, listen without judgment and connect beyond their differences.
I have more than a decade of training in couples’ counseling, and believe couples deserve a specialist when dealing with something as important as their relationship. I completed a rigorous certification process in Imago Relationship Therapy, which was created by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. The theory became popular with a book called “Getting the Love You Want,” and is practiced by over 2,000 therapists in over 60 countries worldwide. As part of my dedication to lifelong learning in my field, I’m currently engaged in a year-long training program in the Developmental Approach to couples’ counseling with Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Pete Pearson at the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California.
My own marriage transformed when we put the basics of Imago Therapy into action early in our now 18-year-relationship. The unexpected benefit? Learning a model of calm and compassionate conflict resolution helped us as parents, too. (And if I’m making this sound easy, it’s not. Every relationship is a work in progress. Growth is an ongoing process for all of us!) Our daughter internalized “talking it out,” and now she has the confidence to solve conflicts at school. I focus on tools to enhance positive feelings and reduce negativity, and many of these practices, such as daily appreciations, can be implemented by the entire family.
I love working with couples raising children and blended families, because the whole family benefits when parents shift out of stuck patterns. Kids feel more secure when their parents’ connection thrives, and they learn key relationship skills, which they bring into their communities at school and beyond.
I also have expertise in grief counseling, loss, and spiritual direction.
Sometimes, life forces us to take a bend in the road that we never imagined. The death of a loved one. The loss of a job. A new diagnosis. A divorce or break-up. A global pandemic.
I have a particular interest in sitting with clients through loss because I’ve been there. I get it on a level I couldn’t without living through it. When I was 18, my mother received a terminal diagnosis, and I learned first-hand how processing grief provides an opening—if we allow it—to grapple with the “big questions” of life’s meaning.
In the wake of my own grief, I answered those questions by becoming a hospice volunteer for the dying, providing companionship at the end of their lives. On Saturday mornings, I sat with an African-American pastor surrounded by his family; an Italian matriarch in the Castro who taught me how to knit; a young mother willing herself to live to see her daughter’s next birthday; an isolated man dying of AIDS in the early stages of dementia; and a blind grandfather who sometimes asked to hold my hand when he was in the grips of his anxiety about death.
That life-changing volunteering job inspired my transition from a career in corporate communications to my vocation as a psychotherapist. Since then, I’ve worked as a bereavement counselor and group facilitator with Sutter VNA & Hospice in San Francisco and the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing in Washington, D.C.
Having worked at a pastoral counseling center early in my career, I am quite comfortable bringing clients’ spirituality into the room. Pastoral counseling is non-denominational and simply means that clients are invited, if they feel comfortable doing so, to share their religious or spiritual beliefs with their therapist, and we use this as another source of their healing and growth. I have worked with clients from a variety of backgrounds (Christian, Mennonite, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Unitarian and Sacred Feminine belief systems). I take a holistic view of healing, and believe my role is not only to help clients in creating a healthier state of mind, but also to help them find meaning and a deeper sense of purpose in life.
Professional Qualifications
B.A., Wellesley College, Magna Cum Laude
M.A., Counseling Psychology with specialization in Expressive Arts Therapy, California Institute of Integral Studies
Certified Imago Relationship Therapist
Licensed California Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. #103931
Member, California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
My logo = my values
The brushstroke circle in my logo is called an enso in Zen Buddhism, meaning “circle of togetherness.” While at first glance, the symbol looks like a misshapen circle, it symbolizes many things, including: the beauty of imperfection and the connectedness of all living things. It is a universal expression of the wholeness that lives deep in our beings. I can think of no better symbol to express my values as a therapist.